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Rice Shoulder Heating Pad, with Lavender

February 2, 2012

My mom made shoulder rice warmers several years ago for the neighbors for Christmas. She put in all kinds of nice smelling herbs in them.

I loved the one she made for our family, I used it all the time. But it got lost!

So I finally decided to make my own. I’ve been wearing it almost non-stop since I made it last night, I’m even wearing it as I type this post.

If my mom saved her pattern I wouldn’t know where to find it, so I made up my own design. I probably should have done a little more planning and a little more math… but I didn’t.

I just winged it.

And it turned out pretty good.

Here’s how I did it!

First I drew out a template on a piece of paper. Once I tried on the piece of paper I knew what adjustments I wanted to make.

As you can see, I made quite a few adjustments.

Don’t you just love that fabric!? I do, I found it in my mom’s sewing room personal fabric store. The pattern is Riley Blake C7030.

After you get it all cut out, put the right sides together, then sew along the areas I have marked in red. Make sure you do a few snips around the curve (just don’t snip the seam), this helps it move and take shape better. I also included my dimensions to give you an idea of how much fabric you might need.

Then turn it right-side out. I did a little ironing at this point.

Next I sewed some chambers. The red lines are the same seams as the red lines in the earlier photo. The green ones are the new seams. Make sure you don’t sew all the way to the open edges, you will need space to turn under the edge and sew it down.

As you can see, the top four chambers are 2 inches and the bottom four chambers are 2 3/4 inches. This is because I didn’t do math before I cut it out. Feel free to make your own adjustments if you would like even chambers.

After your chambers are sewed, its time to fill it with rice.

I mixed approximately 11 cups of rice with 2 cups of lavender and had about 2 cups of lavender/rice mixture left over.

This is what the lavender looks like. I bought it from “The Herb Shop” in Orem, UT for about $7.50. It smells heavenly.

To fill the chambers I used a funnel.

After I filled a chamber, I sewed it shut. If I tried filling them all and closing them all at once, I probably would have spilled rice/lavender everywhere… so I recommend doing them one at a time.

Remember how I didn’t sew all the way to the open edge when sewing my chambers? This is why. After filling the chambers, I folded the raw edges inward and sewed on top of it to close the chamber. If I had sewed to the edge I wouldn’t have been able to fold it in.

After you fill the chambers, you’re done!

I’m so happy I finally have one of these things again!

Notes:

-To warm it up, pop it in the microwave for about 3-4 minutes.

-If you mix herbs in with your rice, store it in a ziplock back to preserve the scent. The ones my mom made several years ago still smell nice! (probably because they’re stored in ziplock bags)

-Only use cotton fabric and cotton thread. These are going in the microwave, you can only use microwavable materials.

-You can design other shapes. I know I plan on making a square one, with chambers, for menstrual cramps or warming up my bed on a cold winter night. I’d also like to make smaller 4″ by 4″ squares to throw in my coat pockets when I go in the backyard to watch my nieces and nephews play in the snow… of course that idea is for another year because this year we seem to be missing our snow!

If you make one of these, I would love to see how yours turned out!

12 Ways to Mend a Broken Heart

Relationships, Resilience

Bess Myerson once wrote that “to fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful,” especially if you are the one who wanted the relationship to last. But to stop loving isn’t an option. Author Henri Nouwen writes, “When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful.” But how do we get beyond the pain?
Here are 12 techniques I’ve gathered from experts and from conversations with friends on how they patched up their heart and tried, ever so gradually, to move on.

1. Go through it, not around it.

I realize the most difficult task for a person with a broken heart is to stand still and feel the crack. But that is exactly what he/she must do. Because no shortcut is without its share of obstructions. Here’s a simple fact: You have to grieve in order to move on. During the times of my severe depression, my counselor repeated almost every visit: “Go through it. Not around it.” Because if I went around some of the issues that were tearing me apart inside, then I would bump into them somewhere down the line, just like being caught in the center of a traffic circle. By going through the intense pain, I eventually surfaced as a stronger person ready to tackle problems head on. Soon the pain lost its stronghold over me.

2. Stand on your own.

One of the most liberating thoughts I repeat to myself when I’m immersed in grief and sadness is this: “I don’t need anyone or anything to make me happy.” That job is all my own, with a little help from God. When I’m experiencing the intense pangs of grief, it is so difficult to trust that I can be whole without that person in my life. But I have learned over and over again that I can. I really can. It is my job to fill the emptiness, and I can do it … creatively, and with the help of my higher power.

3. Detach.

Attempting to fill the void yourself–withou t rushing to a new relationship or trying desperately to win your lover back–is essentially what detaching is all about. The Buddha taught that attachment leads to suffering. So the most direct path to happiness and peace is detachment. In his book, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds, Victor M. Parachin tells a wonderful story about an old gardener who sought advice from a monk. Writes Parachin:

“Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?” The Great Monk replied, “Who tied you up?” This old gardener answered, “Nobody tied me up.” The Great Monk said, “Then why do you seek liberation?”

4. List your strengths.

As I wrote in my “ post” How To be Different, a technique that helps me when I feel raw and defeated to try anymore is to list my strengths. I say to myself, “Self, you have been advancing for 20 years!! Weaklings can’t pull off that! And here you are, alive, after those 18 months of intense suicidal thoughts. Plus you haven’t Lie again since u decide not to anymore !” I say all of that while listening to the “Jazz music” and by the last line, I’m ready to tackle my next challenge: move on from this sadness and try to be a productive individual in this world. If you can’t list your strengths, start a self-esteem file.

5. Allow some fantasizing.

Grief wouldn’t be the natural process that it should be without some yearning for the person you just lost. Dr. Christine Whelan, who writes the “Pure Sex, Pure Column” on BustedHalo.com, explains the logic of allowing a bit of fantasy. She writes:

If you are trying to banish a sexual fantasy from your head, telling yourself “I’m not going to fantasize about her” or “I won’t think about what it would be like to be intimate with him” might make it worse: In a famous psychological study from the 1980s, a group of subjects were told to think about anything but whatever they did, they were not supposed to think about a white bear. Guess what they all thought about?

6. Help someone else.

When I’m in pain, the only guaranteed antidote to my suffering is to box up all of my feelings, sort them, and then try to find a use for them. That’s why writing and counseling contributes a big chunk to my recovery, why moderating Group Unbreakableguar d has me excited to wake up every day. When you turn your attention to another person–especial ly someone who is struggling with the same kind of pain–you forget about yourself for a split moment. And let’s face it, on some days, that feels like a miracle.

7. Laugh. And cry.

Laughter heals on many levels as I will be explaining in my next post, and so does crying. You think it’s just a coincidence that you always feel better after a good cry? Nope, there are many physiological reasons that contribute to the healing power of tears. Some of them have been documented by biochemist William Frey who has spent 15 years as head of a research team studying tears. Among their findings is that emotional tears (as compared to tears of irritation, like when you cut an onion) contain toxic biochemical byproducts, so that weeping removes these toxic substances and relieves emotional stress. So go grab a box of Kleenex and cry your afternoon away.

8. Make a good and bad list.

You need to know which activities will make you feel good, and which ones will make you want to toilet paper your ex-lover’s home (or apartment). You won’t really know which activity belongs on which list until you start trying things, but I suspect that things like checking out his/her wall on Facebook and seeing that he/she has just posted a photo of his gorgeous new girl/boyfriend is not going to make you feel good, so put that on the “don’t attempt” list, along with e-mails and phone calls to his/her buddies fishing for information about him/her On the “feels peachy” list might be found such ventures as: deleting all of his/her e-mails and voicemails, pawning off the jewelry he/she gave you (using the cash for a much-needed massage?), laughing over coffee with a new friend who doesn’t know him/her from Adam (to ensure his/her name won’t come up).

9. Work it out.

Working out your grief quite literally – by running, swimming, walking, or kick-boxing – is going to give you immediate relief. On a physiological level–because exercise increases the activity of serotonin and/or norepinehrine and stimulates brain chemicals that foster growth of nerve cells–but also on an emotional level, because you are taking charge and becoming the master of your mind and body. Plus you can visualize the fellow who is responsible for your pain and you can kick him in the face. Now doesn’t that feel good?

10. Create a new world.

This is especially important if your world has collided with his/hers meaning that mutual friends who have seen him/her in the last week feel the need to tell you about it. Create your own safe world–full of new friends who wouldn’t recognize him/her in a crowd and don’t know how to spell his/her name–where he/she is not allowed to drop by for a figurative or literal surprise visit. Take this opportunity to try something new – scuba diving lessons, an art class, a book club, a blog – to program your mind and body to expect a fresh beginning – without him/her.

11. Find hope.

There’s a powerful quote in the movie The Tale of Despereaux that I’ve been thinking about ever since I heard it: “There is one emotion that is stronger than fear, and that is forgiveness.” I suppose that’s why, at the moment of reconciliation between me and my Dad i was less scared and free. But forgiveness requires hope: believing that a better place exists, that the aching emptiness experienced in your every activity won’t be with you forever, that one day you’ll be excited to make coffee in the morning or go to a movie with friends. Hope is believing that the sadness can evaporate, that if you try like hell to move on with your life, your smile won’t always be forced. Therefore in order to forgive and to move past fear, you need to find hope.

12. Love deeply. Again and again.

Once our hearts are bruised and burned from a relationship that ended, we have two options: we can close off pieces of our heart so that one day no one will be able to get inside. Or we can love again. Deeply, just as intensely as we did before. Henri Nouwen urges to love again because the heart only expands with the love we are able to pour forth. He writes:

The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. The pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.

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